I sat most of yesterday with two questions: “What are you doing here?” and “What do you want me to do for you?”
So what am I doing here? That is, why Eastern Point Retreat House (EPRH)? I believe that EPRH is my metaphorical cave where I am meeting God. I liken it to the cave on Horab where Elijah encountered God, not in the wind (which we have had a lot for the last couple of days) or in the crashing ocean waves (my current context) but in God’s still small voice. The blessing of this retreat is silence and space. It is here away from the very day distractions of life that one can hear that still small voice of God.
The last seven months have been my wilderness wandering similar to Elijah’s 40 day wilderness trek from his encounter with the angel at the broom tree to the time he entered the cave and encountered God.
These are a lot of words to simply answer the question, I am here to encounter God in a way that I could not do anywhere else.
As I was sitting with my spiritual director this morning she asked me how I would answer my second question. I said that I would want Jesus to deepen my desire for a rich, full, intimate relationship with God. This is what Elijah got, God’s still small voice. Elijah had to lean in to embrace God up close, intimately. Whispers are just that, an intimate conversation between two people.
Desire is the word that I am sitting with now. I will share more about desire in my next post.