Category: The Barbarian Way

So, this is who I was becoming in the fall of 2008. I had been pushed and pulled, shaped and molded, challenged to step out of my comfort zone, and as described by Erwin McManus (a passive mentor of mine) I was beginning to walk the barbarian way. I didn’t know it at the time, but events, readings, and life experiences had fallen into place to send my on a wild sojourn to places hadn’t really thought of going before. What was needed was a trigger, some event, some writing, some still small voice to launch me into the transformational crucible were I would be shaped by different events, molded by readings from the Bible and other authors, transformed in my theological understandings (my beliefs and values), and where my contemplative nature would be allowed to flourish as I would spend hours pondering about who God is, what I believe, and how He has transformed me into the person He wants me to become.

So what was the trigger? It was a blog posting my Josh Kesler about a stupid sheep they had encountered while driving around the countryside. In his telling of the story Josh referred to the sheep as a “stupid sheep.” To this day I don’t know how or why I resonated with that stupid sheep, but rather than thinking it was stupid I saw it as barbarian, wanting break free of the thinks that confined it. Maybe that is the metaphor for my life experience, until now I have been listening to the people who have been telling me to get back in, instead of listening to God say break free, get out, think outside the box, don’t be conformed rather be transformed by the things I am teaching you and showing you.

I will be thinking again about this to see where I am headed…

I have been a Christian for some 25+ years. My spiritual transformation during this time was one of crisis or experiential transformation. As situations presented themselves I was shaped and molded by them. I could choose to embrace the transformation or ignore it and escape the process. I was dumped into what has been called the “Transformational Crucible.” This was a place where I was refined to become more like Christ. It was during this time that I preached my first sermon, struggled with infertility issues, struggled with depression, spent years moving from place to place, going to school, and trusting God. My crucible experiences grounded me in a lot of ways. I didn’t see them then, but as I reflect back ten, fifteen or twenty years removed from the experience I can see God’s hand in my life, the potter shaping and molding the clay which became me, the person I am today.

After graduating seminary in 2001 I felt a little lost, tired, and complacent. I was working, taking leadership roles in my church, teaching, and simply doing life. There was little “transformation” going on. I had hit some sort of spiritual plateau. It was here where God chose another type of formation process to again begin to shape and mold me. For lack of a better word I call it process formation. By process formation I mean that you are guided through a series of exercises, questions, or processes to produce in the end a transformation in my life.

This is the first a number of blog postings I am calling “My Sojourn.”