Category: Spiritual Formation

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A Dream Is Forming

These last couple years have been a time of wonder and awe for me. God has brought me down paths that I did not even know existed. I have thought thoughts and pondered ideas that I had only given a passing look at in the past. I have, as was pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago, been struck with what was termed theological angst. This has come about as I have begun to ponder on the theology of spiritual formation.This path will be played out in my doctoral work over the next year of so. All this is background to a dream that is beginning to form.

I want to preface this by saying that I really do enjoy my current job and if this is where God keeps me I am good with that (for my boss if he where to read this). The dream I am having thought is much different than this. It is a dream of God size proportion. It involves the creation of a ministry whose purpose is to develop a retreat center where people can come and ponder, listen, and reflect on God and how God is working in their life. This would include both personal/private retreats as well as more structured retreats for small groups of people. I don’t know what this will look like, but they would be based on the works of Dallas Willard, Richard Foster, Henry Nouwen, Erwin McManus and others. This would be a non-denominational center rooted in the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. This part of the dream is in part the reality I live right now.

The God part comes with where I would love to see this go. I have stumbled upon an old farm (78 acres, barn, granary, milking house) for about $200,000. I could imagine converting the barn into a small retreat center (you have to check my brain for what that would look like). I would also love to build some cabins around the property for the private retreats. Here is what I don’t know. I don’t know if this portions of the dream is my dream/fantasy or if it is God’s dream for me. What I do know is that I don’t have the half million dollars or so to make this a reality. I don’t even know where to turn other than to God. It is at this point that I wish I were a bit more entrepreneurial.

Prayer, wisdom, and insight is welcome from all. Thanks.

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Visualization of My Ponderings




What you can see here is one of two visualizations for my current ponderings. Now if I could just figure out what it all means.

The adventure I have been on the last couple of years has been interesting to say the least. In a conversation this morning I reflected back on where this current thread started. I find a number of preliminary events, seminary, Heart of a Warrior, reading a lot of Erwin McManus, and spending time in jail (doing ministry, not time). All these experiences equipped me, encouraged me, or excited me in different ways. However, the event that really got my mind going was a blog posting my Josh Kesler a couple of years ago about a stupid sheep (Stupid Sheep or Barbarian Sheep?). From there my mind has been going a lot of different directions.
The interesting thing is that there seems to be a synergy as I reflect on all the different components. What I am doing now is looking for the connector, the idea that God is trying to teach me, the focal point of my ponderings. This is the key for my future work, doctoral studies, and spiritual transformation.
I can not simply sit back and remain where I am. That would not be honoring to God or to my formation. What I need to do is continue to embrace who God is transforming me into, knock on doors that are closed and look into doors that are open to see if I should enter, continue to write, speak, and teach about the things God is showing me, and finally be prepared to lean into my fears, embrace change, and accept the path that God has prepared for me to follow at this time in my life.
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Why do I do this thing called Spiritual Formation?

I was asked this question a couple of weeks ago, not in a negative sense (since the person asking has been part of a men’s ministry that looks at transforming the heart), but rather as a point of clarification. The context of the question is that if we, as Christ-followers, are covered by the blood of Jesus does it matter how “transformed” we are? When we stand before God, He will not see our sins rather He will see His Son and the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. So why do we concern ourself with becoming more like Jesus?

My first response reflected back to what I have been reading in 1 Peter and how living a life that reflects God can silence the ignorant talk of unbeliever. Our transforming life can be used as a witness to those around us. Do I live a life that reflects who I am in Christ? Is their evidence of becoming more like Jesus? Does the way I respond in different circumstances silence the ignorant talk of the unbeliever? A mentor of mine talks of this notion like this, People aren’t going to listen to what you have to say unless they see it lived out in your life. How we live our life matters. So we do spiritual formation so that we may be a witness in the world.
As I have pondered on this a while longer a second reason is that it is a matter of obedience to God. In the Old Testament we see that we are to meditate on scripture day and night, we are to draw near to God, we are to listen for that still small voice. In the New Testament we are called to be perfect just as God is perfect, we are to love God and love our neighbor, we are to seek wisdom. All these things are part of spiritual formation. As we meditate on God’s word how can we not be transformed. As we draw near and listen to God we gain a greater understanding of who God is and what He wants for our life. As we love others, as we care for the widows and orphans, those who have no voice in society we are transformed through this exchange.
A third reflection on why we do spiritual formation, and for me this is key, is that it draws me in to a closer relationship with God. In order to gain an intimate understanding of God we need to be transformed so that we can better understand who He is. As a new believers we have a certain level of understanding, but as we grow in Christ-likeness our understanding increases. This increased understanding draws us into a deeper relationship with God. As we are then drawn into this deeper relationship, we are better able to reflect God back to the world around us and we are better equipped to carry out the plans God has for our life.