Category: Spiritual Formation

Posted on

Becoming Who God Wants Me To Be (pt 4)

In late 2007 I was reading a blog posting my Josh Kesler about a stupid sheep. I took a different perspective than Josh, thinking rather than being stupid, he was being a barbarian sheep (see my original blog response. To be honest, it is only now as a read back over my original response that I am beginning to make the connection as to why this moved me the way it did. At the time though all I knew was that my mind was whirling.

It was about this time that I started my ministering at Lino, I applied for and got into the Doctor of Ministry program at Bethel, and I was engulfed in this wondrous time with God. It was during this time that I wrote about online community and social justice. I started my twitter prayer project. I read more books than I had in a long time about a lot of different things. During all this, a funny thing happened, I began to change – it was subtle but it was happening. God was transforming me into who He wanted me to be. The themes of community, relationships, and transformation began to jump out at me. I rediscovered the book of James and the practice of my Christian faith. I began to listen to the stories of others and how we as a community can help edit each others stories to strengthen our relationship with God and with others.

So what does this have to do with the stupid sheep? It is about stepping out of your box (comfort zone) and being willing to do what it is God has called you to do. I was comfortable being a geek, integrating technology and learning, but God has other plans for me. This became clear in my last Doctoral class – there were a lot of great conversations but I was drawn to one we had about what I call the ministry of proximity. Actually what I was drawn to is the tension that exists between the need to be in proximity to minister to someone and what we can do at a distance. Right now I am pondering what is meant by “proximity.”

So there you have it. After sifting through the last 30 years as a Christ-follower, I think I know what I will do for the last season of my life. I know God has used me in different places at different times with my rather eclectic life. I know sense that there is a new and quite different adventure ahead for me.

It’s time to be pushed out of the confines of my sheep pen and to embrace the adventure God has for me. I look forward to coming along side my fellow sojourners, walking with them for a while, helping to edit their story and strengthening their relationship with God and with others.

Posted on

Becoming Who God Wants Me To Be (pt 2)

A couple of days ago I wrote about what I feel God calling for me is – to come along side others in their sojourning through life. But the question to answer today is, “How did I arrive at this point?”

This journey for me has been a, borrowing from The Beatles, a long and winding road – educationally, spiritually, experientially, and personally. It began on a fall night in 1981, though the ground work was laid long before that, when I said yes to Christ. Adventures and challenges have been part of my life ever since – marriage, moving, living, growing, listening, and obeying. My internal wiring, living, learning, loving, and laboring has been part of the transformational process God has had me on for the past 30 years.

There have been some key people and events that I look at as markers that define this adventure. Jim Duncan, the man who first discipled me in what it meant to be a Christian. We were brought together from Ohio and Minnesota in Havre, MT for a 3 year crash course in Christianity. While in Havre, I preached my first sermon, it wasn’t that good, it wasn’t that long, but I know that it was the message God had for that congregation that day.

From Havre, there as a nomadic phase where we learned to trust more fully on God as we spent time in Minnesota, Missoula, MT, back to Bemidji, MN before finally settling in Grand Rapids, MN. It was in Grand Rapids where my leadership skills were developed, my preaching skills were honed a bit more, and I took on a variety of teaching opportunities with in the church and a private Christian school. The latter experience once again proved God’s faithfulness. It was during this time that we adopted both our kids, built our home and thought that we were there for the long haul. It was here that I also learned that my plans aren’t always God’s plans.

In 1997 I was in Washington DC for a Promise Keepers event, when I heard that still small voice of God saying it’s time to go to seminary. I didn’t know why, but in the fall of 1998 we packed our things and move back the the Twin Cities. Just before I was to begin seminary my dad died and while we were down for the funeral, my wife interviewed for a number of of jobs and by weeks end had a number of job offers. I know that God was in it.

Seminary was good, I got a lot of head knowledge, but by the end of my time God had become more of an academic pursuit rather and a relational pursuit. It was at seminary that I started doing something call instructional technology – the art of using technology to enhance the learning process. When I graduated in 2001, I was offered a job at Bethel doing what I have been doing for the last three years. I thought that this was what God had in plan for me for the rest of my working career. To be honest this is a question I am pondering right now. More on that later.

None of this would have been possible if it weren’t for the gift God gave me in my wife who has been with me through this whole adventure. God gave her a talent in the medical field that has allowed her to find work and in a large part finance the adventure called life that we have been on. She has put up with my educational endeavors, occupational changes, home relocations, and me, her rather eclectic husband and sojourner in life these past 29 years.

This is the background that I have needed to lay in order to answer the questions “How do I know what God wants for me and from me?” The third and hopefully finally part of this pondering will tie things together – spiritual disciplines, spiritual director, being open and willing to say “yes”, and believe it or not a blog posting about a stupid sheep.

In short these last 10 years have been the most transformation years of my spiritual life.

Posted on

Becoming Who God Wants Me To Be (pt 1)

I am who I am becoming. No this is not some philosophical, pie in the sky statement, it is an idea taken from the Apostle Paul in his writings to the church in Corinth:

Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it!
2 Corinthians 5:17 The Message

As a new creation I already am who I am, the goal now is to do the work of stripping away the old and letting the new shine forth.

I will admit that it is easy to strip away some of the old, those things that stare you in the face and you know are not honoring to our newly created life. I sometimes talk about this using an onion as my illustration. Take an onion and around the outside is the dried, papery layer that easily falls away. As you move in the layers of the onion become harder and harder to separate. As new creations we are able to put away some of our old habits that are not needed or wanted in our new life. These things are the outer layers of the onion. But then we get into the tough stuff. Those habits, actions, sins that we try to keep “hidden” in our new life. These aren’t as easily reomoved. Let me make a point here, God can and at times does remove these hard, hidden things, but I believe that going thought this transformation process is what gives us the Godly character and wisdom that the world needs to not only hear from us but see lived out in our life.

For me this has not been an overnight, a ha moment. I have been a Christ-follower for close to 30 years. I have completed 2 post graduate degrees, a certificate and I am currently working on my Doctor of Ministy degree. Though all these years, through all this education, though all my life experiences this is what I have learned – God wants me to be someone who walks along side others as they do life, listen to their stories, offer advise when asked and help them move one step closer in their relationship with other but more importantly in their relationship with God.

This is getting a little long so tomorrow I will share with you how it is I got to the point where I could make the above statement with confidence and clarity. The question I leave you with today is “Who does God want you to become?”