Voices

I am sitting in the dining center of the school I work at and the din of the room is one filled with voices. Freshman wondering about this adventure called college and the seniors wondering about the adventure they will be embarking on in nine months or so.

The chores of voices rising up are indistinguishable one from another. You can guess about the content of the conversations by watching the facial expressions and body language. It has made me stop and wonder how it is God hears all our prayers and conversations with Him. Like wise I wonder how it is we can hear His voice among the conversations going on around us. How is it we distinguish God’s voice from the noises around us?

I also wonder about the conversations we have with God. Those by the freshman, the new believers who are wonder what it is they have become apart of. How is this newly reconciled relationship with the Creator of all things going to impact their life in the days, weeks, months, and years to come? Should we as upperclassman come along side and show them the ropes? This is what mentoring, this wi what discipleship is all about.

Speaking of the upperclassman, what are their conversations like. What crisis are the working through? What new truth about God have they uncovered? What is going to happen to them in their next season of life? These are great questions and i could add more about loving God, loving others, ministry opportunities, and on and on and on? You see the questions for the maturing Christ-follower should never stop. They should continuer to add to the chores of voices calling out to God, not only requests but praises, thanksgivings, and more.

You see unlike me, who as I sit here listening to a lot of conversations but unable to discern what anyone is saying, God hears all our conversations with Him clearly. He then responses in a way so that it is His will that is done.

Desires

As I have reflected on my last couple of tweets a word has jumped out at me. That word is desire. The pondering that got me going on this was Jeremiah 15:16 & Psalm 119:15-18. My desire is for God’s word, law, way, and will. Both were in the context of my lectio divina – one from my morning pray and the other from the book Sacred Readings by Kenneth Boa.
Dictionary.com defines desire as a to wish or long for; crave; want. I say that I desire God’s word, God’s will, God’s way, but my actions don’t always match my desire. I get distracted by life, by technology, but physical aliments.
I have to stop to make sure that my beliefs and values align with my desire to pursue God with all my heart, soul, mind, and passion. Jesus said this is is the greatest commandment. So where does this leave me? Like Paul I wonder why I do the things I don’t want to do and don’t do the things that I do want to do. It is part of the becoming like Christ, I can’t get there over night but I continue to strive in That direction.
My metanarrative is sound, my beliefs are firmly grounded, my values are more than mere aspirations, though they have not yet become virtues, and my outlook on life is centered on God. I am a work in progress with God at the potters wheel molding and shaping this lump of clay.

A Dream Is Forming

These last couple years have been a time of wonder and awe for me. God has brought me down paths that I did not even know existed. I have thought thoughts and pondered ideas that I had only given a passing look at in the past. I have, as was pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago, been struck with what was termed theological angst. This has come about as I have begun to ponder on the theology of spiritual formation.This path will be played out in my doctoral work over the next year of so. All this is background to a dream that is beginning to form.

I want to preface this by saying that I really do enjoy my current job and if this is where God keeps me I am good with that (for my boss if he where to read this). The dream I am having thought is much different than this. It is a dream of God size proportion. It involves the creation of a ministry whose purpose is to develop a retreat center where people can come and ponder, listen, and reflect on God and how God is working in their life. This would include both personal/private retreats as well as more structured retreats for small groups of people. I don’t know what this will look like, but they would be based on the works of Dallas Willard, Richard Foster, Henry Nouwen, Erwin McManus and others. This would be a non-denominational center rooted in the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. This part of the dream is in part the reality I live right now.

The God part comes with where I would love to see this go. I have stumbled upon an old farm (78 acres, barn, granary, milking house) for about $200,000. I could imagine converting the barn into a small retreat center (you have to check my brain for what that would look like). I would also love to build some cabins around the property for the private retreats. Here is what I don’t know. I don’t know if this portions of the dream is my dream/fantasy or if it is God’s dream for me. What I do know is that I don’t have the half million dollars or so to make this a reality. I don’t even know where to turn other than to God. It is at this point that I wish I were a bit more entrepreneurial.

Prayer, wisdom, and insight is welcome from all. Thanks.